If you feel like stuff happens to you, and that events/situations cause your emotions, you’re not going to feel very in control of your life. You’re not going to be very resilient.
It’s empowering to realize that you can change your beliefs about things — that the frame you choose will determine how you react to situations/events, how you experience them, and ultimately your whole reality. Reframing is about more than looking on the bright side; it’s about intentionally choosing the path of most growth.
The examples cited above are just a sample; you can reframe just about everything, as just about everything has more than one legitimate context and meaning. You are free to choose the one that is most useful to you. As you do so, work to come up with a vivid analogy for this new frame of reference — a new narrative that will help it stick in your mind.
Just remember that life should never be reframed in ways that seek to take the responsibility that belongs to you, and place it on someone else. It should never be about making excuses, or lying to yourself, or avoiding negative but legitimate feedback, or trying to form a reality out of materials that objectively do not exist. After all, you can be “in the arena” but still be acting like a clown that people are rightfully throwing peanuts at, and seeing yourself as a warrior in a noble fight does not automatically make it so.
Reframing thus requires greater self-awareness, not less.
In general though, every problem is also a challenge; every setback is also an opportunity; every situation that fails to stimulate one capacity provides practice for another. Everything’s got something to teach. As long as you’re looking at it through a framework of learning.
Read the full article from Brett & Kate McKay at theartofmanliness