When we continually live our life with a safety net it creates a barrier to our freedom.
As we create the life of our dreams, we often reach a crossroads where the choices seem to involve the risk of facing the unknown versus the safety and comfort of all that we have come to trust. We may feel like a tightrope walker, carefully teetering along the narrow path to our goals, sometimes feeling that we are doing so without a net. Knowing we have some backup may help us work up the courage to take those first steps, until we are secure in knowing that we have the skills to work without one. But when we live our lives from a place of balance and trust in the universe, we may not see our source of support, but we can know that it is there.
If we refuse to act only if we can see the safety net, we may be allowing the net to become a trap as it creates a barrier between us and the freedom to pursue our goals. Change is inherent in life, so even what we have learned to trust can surprise us at any moment. Remove fear from the equation and then, without even wondering what is going on below, we can devote our full attention to the dream that awaits us.
We attract support into our lives when we are willing to make those first tentative steps, trusting that the universe will provide exactly what we need. In that process we can decide that whatever comes from our actions is only for our highest and best experience of growth. It may come in the form of a soft landing, an unexpected rescue or an eye-opening experience gleaned only from the process of falling. So rather than allowing our lives to be dictated by fear of the unknown, or trying to avoid falling, we can appreciate that sometimes we experience life fully when we are willing to trust and fall. And in doing so, we may just find that we have the wings to fly.
When we believe that there is a reason for everything, we are stepping out with the safety net of the universe, and we know we will make the best from whatever comes our way.
BY MADISYN TAYLOR
article originally appears here http://dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/articledisplay.cgi?aid=60278
Remember that today when other people impede or disrupt what you're trying to do. They aren't causing you problems. They are providing opportunities. And it's your job to make good on them.
A PSA about feelings from my colleague Dr. Rich Mahogany at Man Therapy.
I'm excited to be on @lewishowes 's book launch team for #MaskofMasculinity- Check it out at maskofmasculinity.com
Dating has never been more ambiguous than it is today. People sort of end up with each other without explicitly defining the nature of their relationship, level of commitment, or expectations for the future. What begins as hanging out, slides into spending the night, which slides into moving in together, and can even sometimes slide into marriage.
While keeping your romantic relationships ambiguous may seem to make them safer and less complicated, my guest today has conducted research that shows that’s not necessarily the case. His name is Scott Stanley, he’s an author and professor of psychology at the University of Denver, and he specializes in studying commitment, co-habitating, and marriage.
Today on the show, Scott explains why dating has gotten more ambiguous during the past 20 years and why that has led people to slide into relationships instead of explicitly deciding and committing to them. He then highlights research that shows that, contrary to popular belief, co-habitating before marriage actually increases the chances of divorce when you do decide to get married and how living with someone makes it harder to break up with them, even when you realize you should.
We then get into what men can do to make dating less ambiguous and more decisive, and how being upfront about your intentions with women will make you more attractive, reduce drama down the road, and put you in a better position for a happy and fulfilling marriage. Scott then shares what you should do if you feel like you’ve slid into your relationship and what married couples can do to strengthen their marriage.
Whether you’re dating, thinking about getting married, or already hitched, this podcast is crammed with research-backed advice on how to have better relationships.
Why and how dating today is much more ambiguous than 20-30 years ago
The truth about the link between cohabitation and marital success
Why living together makes it harder to break up
The biggest change in the dating world in the last 40 years
The problems with keeping relationships ambiguous
Why giving labels to a relationship is actually a good thing
How can men make dating less ambiguous?
Why taking risks in dating is important
What to do if you’ve slid into marriage
Maintaining a strong marriage, and getting through rough spots
The power of small, easy acts of kindness in a relationship
From The Art of Manliness - http://www.artofmanliness.com/2017/10/19/commitment-in-relationships/
"A women’s NO has not been honored over the centuries. She has been ostracized, beaten, ignored, raped, chastised and left for dead when she stood up to say No.
It still happens. This collective pain still lives in the feminine nervous system and psyche. So is it any wonder why women would have a hard time saying no or sharing hard truths of their hearts to powerful men who yield control over their careers? Or even their romantic partner sometimes? Your value as a masculine partner is to feel what is unsaid and to help her express and own it. You will have to feel past her words and silence into her body and breath and heart. You will need to make it safe for her to say the things she is afraid to say. The withholds, judgements, resentments or just flat out rejections that might hurt your feelings. This is how we can as men, make it safe for women to share what is in their hearts. This is masculine leadership."